Is Singleness A Curse?

No, my friends. Singleness is not a curse! Although it can feel like that sometimes lol. Contrary to popular belief, if you are single, and Christian, you are in a wonderful season of life. 😀 I know it may not feel that way sometimes but let me explain.

As someone who is single, never been married, and has no children, you can start to wonder if it'll ever happen. So, I can relate to those of you reading this. I have just entered a new decade - 40! It's a bit surreal to be honest. Of all the things I've accomplished in life, getting married has still eluded me... 🤔 Like some of you, I have dated men whom I thought were it. In fact, not just thought it, but God actually spoke specific things about them, which gave me the knowing and peace that God was saying yes.

But what I can tell you that I have learned is that even though God may reveal something to you, and tell you something specific, your will is still involved. God can show you which direction to go, but it's still your choice whether or not you want to go in that direction. And that applies to relationships as well.

Examples

1. I used to volunteer at a place where they gave out free clothes and food to the community. One of the girls who worked there shared with me one day that in a time of prayer God revealed to her who her husband was. Now, I'm thinking great! 😀 But she said, "Nope. Not that guy. I don't want him." She never said why, but for whatever reason she did not want to be with this guy...and she never did. She never married him, even though God made it clear to her that this was who He chose for her.

God will not make you do something, even though He has shown you what to do.

2. On the flip side, God's answer can be NO, and you still go through with it. I know 2 women personally who were in relationships with men that God revealed to them they should not marry. They literally heard, no! But, both of them went through with it, and have suffered a life of heartache, financial difficulties, regret, and abuse. 😞

God will not make you do something, even though He has shown you what not to do.

I share this because sometimes people feel like maybe they missed God. Maybe they heard wrong. Maybe God didn't actually tell them specifically who they were supposed to marry. Maybe they made it up because that's what they wanted to hear... OR maybe they were right all along, but the other person didn't follow through. I can most definitely relate to that.

I have dated a couple of men in the past who told me some very specific things God spoke to them in regard to me. And I was in agreement with it because it confirmed something within me as well. But for whatever reason - fear, pride, insecurity, or maybe something else, nothing ever came of it. And your girl is still single (and available 😉). But I have learned to become content in my singleness. And that is the place I want you to get to as well.

Why Is It Good?

I'm telling ya, this can be some of the best years of your life thus far if you really dedicate it to God.

Reason #1

It's an opportunity to get closer to God and focus on Him.

1 Corinthians 7:32-34

Paul is sharing how when you are unmarried your focus can be more on God and pleasing Him. But when you are married, your focus shifts to your spouse and how you can please them. Now, there's nothing wrong with getting married or desiring it. But your time does shift a bit when you have another person in your life. So I encourage you to spend as much time with God as you can. Get close to Him. Learn to really hear His voice.

Reason #2

It's an opportunity to get to know yourself more and heal.

Psalm 139:23-24

Too many people are scared of their own heart and don't even know themselves. As you spend that time with God, He can reveal to you what needs to be healed within you, and/or where you need to change. Because you want to be in a place spiritually and emotionally where you are ready for the person God wants to bring into your life. I'm not talking about perfection, or even having it all figured out. But in a place where you know you are good. And sometimes that takes time. So don't rush the healing process.

Reason #3

It's an opportunity for you to whole heartedly throw yourself into what God has called you to do.

Matthew 6:33

We're not waiting until we get married for our lives to begin. I know some people believe they're waiting for their spouse before they start doing what God has called them to do because they're going to do it together. And I don't disagree with the fact that God will use you as a couple, or that their gift will compliment yours, but God wants to use you here and now. Let's get busy about doing the Father's business.

All in all, I believe that if the desire for you to be married is in your heart it's because God put it there. So, no. You're not cursed. Maybe God is waiting for you to come to Him first.

Maybe there's things in you that He still needs to heal, or areas of your life that need to change. Because if you're not ready it can be disastrous. Or maybe He's waiting for you to get started in what He put you here on earth to do! Whatever He speaks to you, do it!

Be encouraged friends. God's got you...and your spouse. 🙂

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Written by:

Monique De Leon

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